What I Believe About Marriage.
And Why I Think it’s so Important
I’ve been married, for better or worse for over 50 years, so I know a lot about my relationship. I know that we didn’t (and don’t) always get it right. And yet, here we still are.
Let’s say about 25 years ago, I developed a real interest in why it was that some marriages lasted and some didn’t. And, maybe more importantly, what caused some couples to stay in love, and others not.
It took quite a long time for me to figure out how relationships really work, but the subject fascinated me and that allure led me on my present journey. Here’s a little of what I’ve learned:
I’ve learned that good relationships are not only good for us, but that the drive to develop intimate relationships is part of our DNA. We are meant to bond with someone else. We’re built like that.
I’ve learned that ‘The Good Life’ is built with good relationships.
I’ve learned that marriage is often not very easy. It’s often hard work and requires commitment and skills. But then isn’t that the same with any worthwhile thing in life.
I’ve learned that most marriages in crisis are able to be saved, even if just one of the partners is prepared to put in the work.
And I’ve learned that real, genuine attachment, with a soulmate, can be forever. But not only that, this deep affection can be cultivated and nurtured into existence, even if it wasn’t there before. We call it emotional connection. Most just call it love.
So, here’s the thing:
Firstly, all of us need good relationships. They keep us happy and healthy and they help us to live longer and keep our minds sharper. Anybody with any wisdom in life knows that real riches come from our primary relationships.
Secondly, most often love doesn’t find you, you have to find love. And based on current statistics, marrying the person you believe is the right one, has only about a 50% chance of success.
I’m convinced that the secret is not in finding the ‘right’ person, it’s in learning to love the person you found.
Marriages can be saved and you can make love blossom, right where you didn’t expect it. You just need to know how. And that’s what I’m here for.
Jim
