It’s all About Making Changes
If you’re unhappy with your life, you need to change something
Whatever it is that you’re unhappy about in your life and here we’re specifically talking about relationships, you need to change something.
My wife, Dr Shaz, the psychologist, has always said: “If you’re not happy with your life, change it.” I can think of many times when important decisions needed to be made by our kids. Maybe education choices, problems with romance, the urge to see the world (among others). But whenever her advice was taken, powerful changes often followed.
It’s still a guidepost for me when my own path needs reassessing. Does what I am doing, at this moment, feel right to me? Have I misgivings about the road I am on?
Too many times in my past have I ignored the gut instincts, or the apprehension. Often to my ultimate cost, to be honest. I am learning but it’s taken me a long time.
Here’s the thing: we are sometimes just too ready to just roll over when we know things in our life are not right. We imagine that somehow we are powerless in the face of our circumstances. It’s easy to forget at such times that we are actually, most often the masters of our own destiny.
It would be nice to imagine that we might have had the sense not to have made wrong decisions in the first place. To have been more diligent with our due diligence, or just a bit more cautious. But sadly, that’s often not the case and we find that we are on the wrong path, in the wrong forest.
That’s life though and once we’ve made that decision, it’s also history.
What’s most important is learning how to tell if the horse is dead. And when to get off it.
The philosophy of change fascinates me and I could write about it for days. Here again we’re looking at change from the perspective of marriage.
Let’s assume that your relationship feels like it’s falling apart. After all, that’s why you’re reading this now.
From my side, I think you have three options for moving ahead:
You decide that enough is enough and that it’s time to move on. Divide the family assets, work out an arrangement with the kids and get a divorce. This is drastic and should be a last resort.
You roll over, as we discussed above, in the belief that you are powerless, accept the status quo and ready yourself for pretty miserable life. Or…
You get ready to embrace change and take control of your destiny. You are not powerless. You are much more dynamic than you give yourself credit for, and even without your spouse’s help you can make real differences to your relationship.
I can talk to you about the first two options and even advise you. But if you decide to take the 3rd path, that’s where my skills are at their best. It’s what I’m really good at, helping clients make changes in their lives. Real change. Life impacting change.
You can be the master of your own destiny and I can help you.
Jim
